I like to think outside the box. In fact I disdain the box. If everybody’s doing it, there’s a pretty good chance I’m not. I don’t follow trends, I dislike reality TV and I don’t punish my children. Most people don’t actually like people who think outside the box, because they feel judged I guess. Or maybe because they just don’t like people who aren’t like them. Most employers love to see the phrase on a CV, but they don’t really like their employees demonstrating outside-the-box thinking. Instead they want box tickers and yes-men. My ex-husband’s most used phrase was “that’s not normal” and my response was always “so what?”
I don’t do things differently just to be counter-cultural though. I just don’t value the received knowledge that most people take for granted as “the way things are.” I don’t find a group and then join them lock step either.
I consider myself a feminist. I try not to buy pink and girly things for my daughters because I don’t want them to feel boxed in by gender roles. I make an effort not to talk negatively about my body in front of them because I know that’s where they will get the first idea that women’s bodies are supposed to look a certain way or else we should be unhappy. When I was growing up I was never going to settle down with anyone or have kids. Today my husband and I split the household chores equally, according to what is most important to us. I have goals outside of raising my kids, though now that I have them, they really are the most important thing in my universe. I was genuinely surprised and aghast when I learned (within the last year or two!) that some girls actually pretend not to be smart because they think boys don’t want smart girls, so I’m willing to admit I can be a bit oblivious sometimes.
I believe in equality, but equality for all not just some, and not in the way some feminists seem to think it should look. I believe that children are discriminated against worse than women in the western world these days due to mainstream parenting practices. I believe feminism is going the wrong way. So I consider myself a feminist but don’t agree with everything they say. Not by a long shot. Lets talk about it.